Once upon a time lived a girl who dreamed of prince charming sweeping her off her feet and lavishing her with quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, and physical touch (back rubs and foot massages). She dreamed of vacations, big houses, and being able to stay home with all of her children and having her husband home from work by 5:30 every night for dinner. In this dream her house was completely organized and clean, and the kids were thankful and appreciative of everything she did. In this dream her husband was up before the sun doing devotions and running many miles before heading off to work. He was sensitive and slow to anger. He was wise beyond his years and he knew just what she needed without her having to say a word. He loved to listen and was a great communicator. It was like he could read her mind. She dreamed of having nice cars and being able to shop whenever the urge was there. She dreamed of the best friends being able to laugh at what the world brought them. They could get through anything as long as they were together!
AND THEN SHE WOKE UP!
Folks I have been wanting to write a post about my husband and our marriage, but I have been waiting for God's timing. I have so much to say, but I will not bore you with all of the details. I want to give God glory and I want to let you know how thankful I am to be married to the hunk of burnin' love that God has created for me.
My expectations going into marriage were kind of high. Did I think life would be perfect? Absolutely not, but I was not prepared for what God had to show me to grow me.
I was 21 years old, living for me, myself, and I. I knew the Lord and I was praying for a Godly husband, but I was living a luke warm life. I had a dysfunctional childhood and a father that I still do not see and I was searching for something or someone to fill the emotional void I carried.
I met Tommy on January 9th, 1998 and when he told me he loved me I melted. I thought he was the best looking man I had ever seen. I could find no fault in him at that time. I just knew he had to be from God, I mean I had been praying after all. On February 25th we were engaged and on July 18th we were married.
HOLD YOUR HORSES---
I know what you are thinking! We are a statistic. We should be divorced, and I will not begin to tell you it was easy the first couple of years, but what I can say to you is God is Good and Faithful. I can tell you that when 2 people come together with different backgrounds, upbringing, and ideas of how a marriage should look it is not easy. When you say for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, it is not just a phrase, it is a promise before the one who created marriage. You may stand before God and think you are marrying prince charming and after the honeymoon realize you messed up. Tommy and I both had those thoughts in the beginning.
One of the best decisions Tommy and I made when we were first married was to get involved in a church. We moved an hour away from my family and about 40 minutes away from his so we were starting our new life together alone, well what felt like alone, so finding a church was important on so many levels.
Tommy was not a Christian when we met, but I knew deep in his heart the Lord was in there somewhere. He had gone to church some as a child, but he did not have a relationship with Christ. I went to church with my grandparents. I was baptized when I was 10. I knew the Lord, but I did not know how to live a life surrendered to him.
After 3 years of struggling and fighting about anything and everything, we came to a point where it was either figure this thing out or get a divorce. Neither of us really wanted a divorce, so we started peeling layers and layers of ick off of us through counseling, church, and lots of prayer. Tommy had gotten to a point in his life where he was ready to give his life to the Lord and I recommitted my relationship with him and we made the decision to give it our all.
Since that time we have more than salvaged what Satan was trying to conquer. God has shown himself to us in a way I never thought possible.
My husband has become a man after God's own heart. He is the leader of our home. He loves me and adores me with all of his heart and soul. He loves me like Christ loves the Church. He is a very hard worker and he never complains, I mean NEVER, and he works a lot. He works as if he is working for the Lord. He has a cheerful heart. He lives the fruit of the spirit. His heart is good! God has changed this man, not me. When I sit and ponder about the man I married and who he is now, I am just overjoyed with who God has made him to be. I am so thankful that we did not call it quits. I don't even know the "old" Tommy.
I had enough changing to do on my own. I had to learn my place in this home. I had to learn to be submissive, and show him the respect he deserves. I had to learn how to let him lead. I know that can be a struggle for a lot of women, it was for me in the beginning too. I had to realize that I was created for him. I am his helper, not the other way around, although I will say that Tommy, because he loves me, helps me a lot when he is home. He is not afraid to do the dishes or dig in with the cleaning. In fact we laugh that he is more meticulous than I am these days. We are a team, and he understands that with homeschooling and working outside the home some, that I cannot keep up with everything like I did before.
We had to learn how to fight fairly. It is not always easily done in the midst of disagreement, but it is possible. I am in no way saying we do everything right, and boy oh boy we are not perfect, but God has brought a marriage, that was decided by our doing and not his, to a place where we can see God's faithfulness and we know for sure that he can make all things work for the good according to his purpose.
One of my favorite things about this man I married is his ability to lighten up moods in a room. Sometimes I can take things very seriously and may not be smiling and he will walk up to me and put one hand on my back and grab the other in my hand and he will dance with me and sing to me, which is funny because he cannot hold a tune, and he will sing to his little hearts content. The kids and I also love when he turns on the radio and starts dancing and singing with a pretend microphone and we all start dancing and singing. He is a peacemaker. He has been very creative with surprise dates and he loves to have fun. He loves to be on the go, but when he is home he loves to relax and watch football. He is a police officer in a middle school and I hear all the time what a wonderful job he does at the school. I hear how he shows the kids and parents respect and they love him, but he can be tough when he needs to be. He is well liked by a lot of people!
What I have noticed is things that used to bother me because we are opposite, now attract me to him. I love that he is strong where I am weak and vice versa.
I Love what the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
I absolutely love this image of Tommy and I with Christ in the middle, like a cord of 3 strands. We were not made to be alone.
But God has a Sense of Humor:
I cannot help but giggle because when I read the verse about ...if two lie down together, they will keep warm...." Tommy is a heater. Every night I get so hot I am throwing covers off and turning on a fan, but when he is not home at night I absolutely freeze, hahaha! God's word is true folks!!!
We have been blessed with several wonderful vacations. We do not live in a huge house, but a nice home. I get the occasional foot massage and back rub, and I work 1 day a week, and he works so hard so I am able to raise our children. I feel blessed beyond belief. Whenever I start to feel non content I need to go to the Lord and recount my many blessings and thank God for my life, husband, kids, and health. I need to pray for proper perspective because lets face it folks we live in America, The Land of the Free! That is a blessing all in itself!
If we do not give up when marriage gets hard, there will always be someone who has been there and gone through exactly what you are going through. We need to be honest with each other and not be afraid to say, "please pray for us we are not connecting right now." It happens, we all get in a funk, but if we ask God to let us see our spouse through his eyes we may see a prince charming in the works, after all its for better or for worse, and I can say with all my heart that I am in LOVE with the prince God has given me.
AND THEN SHE WOKE UP!
Folks I have been wanting to write a post about my husband and our marriage, but I have been waiting for God's timing. I have so much to say, but I will not bore you with all of the details. I want to give God glory and I want to let you know how thankful I am to be married to the hunk of burnin' love that God has created for me.
My expectations going into marriage were kind of high. Did I think life would be perfect? Absolutely not, but I was not prepared for what God had to show me to grow me.
I was 21 years old, living for me, myself, and I. I knew the Lord and I was praying for a Godly husband, but I was living a luke warm life. I had a dysfunctional childhood and a father that I still do not see and I was searching for something or someone to fill the emotional void I carried.
I met Tommy on January 9th, 1998 and when he told me he loved me I melted. I thought he was the best looking man I had ever seen. I could find no fault in him at that time. I just knew he had to be from God, I mean I had been praying after all. On February 25th we were engaged and on July 18th we were married.
HOLD YOUR HORSES---
I know what you are thinking! We are a statistic. We should be divorced, and I will not begin to tell you it was easy the first couple of years, but what I can say to you is God is Good and Faithful. I can tell you that when 2 people come together with different backgrounds, upbringing, and ideas of how a marriage should look it is not easy. When you say for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, it is not just a phrase, it is a promise before the one who created marriage. You may stand before God and think you are marrying prince charming and after the honeymoon realize you messed up. Tommy and I both had those thoughts in the beginning.
One of the best decisions Tommy and I made when we were first married was to get involved in a church. We moved an hour away from my family and about 40 minutes away from his so we were starting our new life together alone, well what felt like alone, so finding a church was important on so many levels.
Tommy was not a Christian when we met, but I knew deep in his heart the Lord was in there somewhere. He had gone to church some as a child, but he did not have a relationship with Christ. I went to church with my grandparents. I was baptized when I was 10. I knew the Lord, but I did not know how to live a life surrendered to him.
After 3 years of struggling and fighting about anything and everything, we came to a point where it was either figure this thing out or get a divorce. Neither of us really wanted a divorce, so we started peeling layers and layers of ick off of us through counseling, church, and lots of prayer. Tommy had gotten to a point in his life where he was ready to give his life to the Lord and I recommitted my relationship with him and we made the decision to give it our all.
Since that time we have more than salvaged what Satan was trying to conquer. God has shown himself to us in a way I never thought possible.
My husband has become a man after God's own heart. He is the leader of our home. He loves me and adores me with all of his heart and soul. He loves me like Christ loves the Church. He is a very hard worker and he never complains, I mean NEVER, and he works a lot. He works as if he is working for the Lord. He has a cheerful heart. He lives the fruit of the spirit. His heart is good! God has changed this man, not me. When I sit and ponder about the man I married and who he is now, I am just overjoyed with who God has made him to be. I am so thankful that we did not call it quits. I don't even know the "old" Tommy.
I had enough changing to do on my own. I had to learn my place in this home. I had to learn to be submissive, and show him the respect he deserves. I had to learn how to let him lead. I know that can be a struggle for a lot of women, it was for me in the beginning too. I had to realize that I was created for him. I am his helper, not the other way around, although I will say that Tommy, because he loves me, helps me a lot when he is home. He is not afraid to do the dishes or dig in with the cleaning. In fact we laugh that he is more meticulous than I am these days. We are a team, and he understands that with homeschooling and working outside the home some, that I cannot keep up with everything like I did before.
We had to learn how to fight fairly. It is not always easily done in the midst of disagreement, but it is possible. I am in no way saying we do everything right, and boy oh boy we are not perfect, but God has brought a marriage, that was decided by our doing and not his, to a place where we can see God's faithfulness and we know for sure that he can make all things work for the good according to his purpose.
One of my favorite things about this man I married is his ability to lighten up moods in a room. Sometimes I can take things very seriously and may not be smiling and he will walk up to me and put one hand on my back and grab the other in my hand and he will dance with me and sing to me, which is funny because he cannot hold a tune, and he will sing to his little hearts content. The kids and I also love when he turns on the radio and starts dancing and singing with a pretend microphone and we all start dancing and singing. He is a peacemaker. He has been very creative with surprise dates and he loves to have fun. He loves to be on the go, but when he is home he loves to relax and watch football. He is a police officer in a middle school and I hear all the time what a wonderful job he does at the school. I hear how he shows the kids and parents respect and they love him, but he can be tough when he needs to be. He is well liked by a lot of people!
What I have noticed is things that used to bother me because we are opposite, now attract me to him. I love that he is strong where I am weak and vice versa.
I Love what the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
I absolutely love this image of Tommy and I with Christ in the middle, like a cord of 3 strands. We were not made to be alone.
But God has a Sense of Humor:
I cannot help but giggle because when I read the verse about ...if two lie down together, they will keep warm...." Tommy is a heater. Every night I get so hot I am throwing covers off and turning on a fan, but when he is not home at night I absolutely freeze, hahaha! God's word is true folks!!!
We have been blessed with several wonderful vacations. We do not live in a huge house, but a nice home. I get the occasional foot massage and back rub, and I work 1 day a week, and he works so hard so I am able to raise our children. I feel blessed beyond belief. Whenever I start to feel non content I need to go to the Lord and recount my many blessings and thank God for my life, husband, kids, and health. I need to pray for proper perspective because lets face it folks we live in America, The Land of the Free! That is a blessing all in itself!
If we do not give up when marriage gets hard, there will always be someone who has been there and gone through exactly what you are going through. We need to be honest with each other and not be afraid to say, "please pray for us we are not connecting right now." It happens, we all get in a funk, but if we ask God to let us see our spouse through his eyes we may see a prince charming in the works, after all its for better or for worse, and I can say with all my heart that I am in LOVE with the prince God has given me.
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