It is 6 am time to get up and run, and be home so hubby can leave by 7:15, get a shower, do devotions, get breakfast because kids are up, time to do Bible with the kids, lets make a coffee and head to the school room, math, grammar, phonics, read aloud, spelling, history, science, silent readers, Indiana history, vocab, typing, oh and we would love to start Latin and Greek, gotta go to the bathroom 20 times because I cant stop drinking coffee, oh the kids want a snack, its time for lunch, wait kids I really wanted to get that in today, friends are knocking at the door, wait kids, first a 10 minute tidy, sew a soccer shirt, start laundry, oh my the bathroom stinks, lets clean it, I have not gotten to the dishes today, cat box got dumped, get out the vacuum, the kids are outside, sit down for 30 seconds until I look at the clock and realize it is 4:30 and we have soccer at 6, gotta get supper, okay kids scarf supper we have to leave, hurry and get your cleats on, what do you mean you cant tie your cleats, get in the car we have to go we are late, get to soccer, get back in the car, snack time again, kids showered and in bed, "mom tell me about your childhood, mom rub my back and sing, mom I am thirsty, and to sleep for them, and then hubby gets home, and then leaves again for work, and then oh shoot I forgot to put sheets on my bed- oh well who needs sheets, okay I need sheets, put the sheets on the bed, crawl into bed, oh shoot I forgot to give the cat canned food, get out of bed run downstairs feed the cat, crawl into bed, oh shoot I forgot to let the dog in, go get the dog, crawl into bed, did I lock the front door? Get out of bed check the front door, lay back down and drink my chamomile tea and Now I have to go to the bathroom, finally I am off to sleep, in the middle of the night hubby comes home and I am up at doing it all over again, and if it happens to be a Monday I am working as a dental hygienist.
I know this is the longest run-on sentence EVER, but this has been my life for the last month because my amazing hubby has been burning the candle at both ends and so have I.
On Tuesday evening of this week I was canning tomatoes and something happened to my back. I do not know what I did, but I have had pain running down my sciatic nerve and it is crippling. Oh I can walk, sit, and sleep, but I have constant pain while doing it all. I have a great chiropractor that has been working on my back daily, and has assured me that this is stress related. I cant agree more.
So as I have taken a few days to relax a little and I have really only done the things I love which is homeschooling my children, blogging, and visiting the chiropractor, (I have a love hate relationship with running, but for now have to take a break), I have realized that I am trying to be super woman. I cannot physically or mentally do it all.
My chiropractor is an amazing christian man and he said to me, for myself and my hubby, "Jen, saying no is not rejecting the person, it is only saying no to the request. This hit me because the hubs and I love to help, encourage, and do what others ask of us. We run ourselves into the ground, and this week God has showed me through pain that our family needs a break. Now physically we can make ourselves slow down, but mentally its consuming. So how do we mentally clear our mind?
First we go to the one who created time! I cried out to the Lord this morning and asked him to show me how he wants my days to look. I can only do in 1 day what the Lord has predestined for me to do. How do I know? I ask!
I would love for my husband to be home at dinner every night, but with his job that is not always possible. So I asked God to show my husband what his day needs to look like. What does God want us to get in in one day.
If the Lord has not allowed time for a certain task today then it will not be done. My toilet may smell, but it just may have to smell for a day. Can I handle that? With God all things are possible! I cant handle it on my own because I like a clean and orderly house, but it is not priority right now.
My children have chores, and my 10 year old is great at helping around the house, especially bathrooms, but there are times he also needs rest.
God made our bodies to need rest and it has taken pain for me to realize I do not allow myself rest. Even God rested when he created the world so who am I to think I can do it all every day with no rest. Sometimes we need to put ourselves in time out!
I have cried out to God and said I am weary and burdened and I do not feel rest. I have said I know you say you will never leave me or forsake me, but I don't feel you. I have felt unloved by God.
But then he reminds me, "Jen I am always here and you keep yourself so busy that you do not have time for me!" He tells me," yes you do devotions in the morning, but you hurry to move onto the next task, and you make spending time with me a job."
OUCH! I confess my sins of business and ask for forgiveness and change. There will always be bathrooms to clean, sheets to wash, kids to mother and educate, a husband to serve, but where is my heart? Am I doing these unto the Lords permission and strength or am I tackling the world on my own strength?
When I read my first paragraph I see that if I only put commas in between sentences my day runs together, but when I add periods God will allow rest. So my goal daily is to not make God's word a task, but to meditate on who he is and what he wants from me today.
I know this is the longest run-on sentence EVER, but this has been my life for the last month because my amazing hubby has been burning the candle at both ends and so have I.
On Tuesday evening of this week I was canning tomatoes and something happened to my back. I do not know what I did, but I have had pain running down my sciatic nerve and it is crippling. Oh I can walk, sit, and sleep, but I have constant pain while doing it all. I have a great chiropractor that has been working on my back daily, and has assured me that this is stress related. I cant agree more.
So as I have taken a few days to relax a little and I have really only done the things I love which is homeschooling my children, blogging, and visiting the chiropractor, (I have a love hate relationship with running, but for now have to take a break), I have realized that I am trying to be super woman. I cannot physically or mentally do it all.
My chiropractor is an amazing christian man and he said to me, for myself and my hubby, "Jen, saying no is not rejecting the person, it is only saying no to the request. This hit me because the hubs and I love to help, encourage, and do what others ask of us. We run ourselves into the ground, and this week God has showed me through pain that our family needs a break. Now physically we can make ourselves slow down, but mentally its consuming. So how do we mentally clear our mind?
First we go to the one who created time! I cried out to the Lord this morning and asked him to show me how he wants my days to look. I can only do in 1 day what the Lord has predestined for me to do. How do I know? I ask!
I would love for my husband to be home at dinner every night, but with his job that is not always possible. So I asked God to show my husband what his day needs to look like. What does God want us to get in in one day.
If the Lord has not allowed time for a certain task today then it will not be done. My toilet may smell, but it just may have to smell for a day. Can I handle that? With God all things are possible! I cant handle it on my own because I like a clean and orderly house, but it is not priority right now.
My children have chores, and my 10 year old is great at helping around the house, especially bathrooms, but there are times he also needs rest.
God made our bodies to need rest and it has taken pain for me to realize I do not allow myself rest. Even God rested when he created the world so who am I to think I can do it all every day with no rest. Sometimes we need to put ourselves in time out!
I have cried out to God and said I am weary and burdened and I do not feel rest. I have said I know you say you will never leave me or forsake me, but I don't feel you. I have felt unloved by God.
But then he reminds me, "Jen I am always here and you keep yourself so busy that you do not have time for me!" He tells me," yes you do devotions in the morning, but you hurry to move onto the next task, and you make spending time with me a job."
OUCH! I confess my sins of business and ask for forgiveness and change. There will always be bathrooms to clean, sheets to wash, kids to mother and educate, a husband to serve, but where is my heart? Am I doing these unto the Lords permission and strength or am I tackling the world on my own strength?
When I read my first paragraph I see that if I only put commas in between sentences my day runs together, but when I add periods God will allow rest. So my goal daily is to not make God's word a task, but to meditate on who he is and what he wants from me today.
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