I have been thinking a lot lately about desires and expectations and how we deal with life when they are not met. In marriage there can be tension if a desire is not communicated and it becomes a silent expectation. Expectations lead to control and control leads to lack of trust.
The difference between a desire and an expectation is the desire is a wish or a want, an expectation is a demand, a lot of the time it's a silent demand.
If a husband desires the house clean when he comes home from work, but does not communicate that to his wife, since she cannot read his mind, his lack of control causes built up anger and bitterness and his desire for a clean home becomes an unmet expectation.
A desire is not necessarily wrong, but putting an expectation on someone can be. If I desire a foot rub from my sweetie, I may smile and say, "Hon, will you rub my feet!" He has the right to say yes or no. If I expect or demand a foot rub and he chooses no, I am instantly angry and bitter. I have put my spouse in a place that lets me down.
The truth is humans will always let us down at some point, but Christ Never will.
We are born expecting things to go our way, babies screaming for food, a toddler throwing temper tantrums, teens rebelling when they are not taught that the world does not revolve around them. We expect when we go to college for a certain degree, that we will get a job when we graduate. We go into marriage with expectations that our needs and desires will be met. Our entire lives we are depending on someone or something to fulfill that deep longing inside of us.
We learn from the beginning of time how to control a situation to try and make things go our way.
This gets me thinking about what expectations we put on the Lord?
Do we desire or expect God to give us a nice home, a running car, new clothes every season, health, wealth, and a regular vacation. What about just a break from the day to day activities, a little R and R?
In America especially, I cannot help but think we expect certain things because if someone else has it then I deserve it too. Unfortunately this is not the real world, and this way of living is a trap.
We really deserve nothing but death, but God gives us grace, amidst living in a world of excess.
Jesus desires our hearts and he wants our love, he tells us he loves us, cares for us, and hears us, but he does not demand us to love him. That wouldn't be love. We have free will to choose who we will serve and whom we love.
Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Is my desire Christ, even if my expectations are not met?
Putting God in a box and telling him how it needs to be is saying, "I do not trust you Lord and I know whats best."
We may say out loud, "Lord, I want your will, and nothing else," but how do I live?
Where is my heart?
Am I bitter and angry with God when I do not get my way, or do I trust?
Did my desire for a better circumstance turn into an expectation?
The Bible tells us in Psalms 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
This does not mean we will get whatever we want, but if we take delight in Jesus, our heart should be that of his.
It all boils down to the heart. Whether its a baby, toddler, teen, or adult give your desires over to Christ and let him convict the heart of unmet expectations. Do nothing out of selfish ambition, and live carefully to not let the expectations from deep within cause outward control and lack of trust, and anger.
Desires and expectations have two different roles, one is to express a wish and have a heart for Christ, the other is a demand that leads to control and lack of trust.
Where is your heart today?
Just my 2 cents.... I love knowing that my God is bigger than all the expectations I put on myself or others. I do not need to find my joy in outward things or other people, but that my true desire should be that of Christ and his will. It lets people off the hook because they do not have to live up to a humans standards, but that of the Lord. There is no room for control when Christ is the center.
The difference between a desire and an expectation is the desire is a wish or a want, an expectation is a demand, a lot of the time it's a silent demand.
If a husband desires the house clean when he comes home from work, but does not communicate that to his wife, since she cannot read his mind, his lack of control causes built up anger and bitterness and his desire for a clean home becomes an unmet expectation.
A desire is not necessarily wrong, but putting an expectation on someone can be. If I desire a foot rub from my sweetie, I may smile and say, "Hon, will you rub my feet!" He has the right to say yes or no. If I expect or demand a foot rub and he chooses no, I am instantly angry and bitter. I have put my spouse in a place that lets me down.
The truth is humans will always let us down at some point, but Christ Never will.
We are born expecting things to go our way, babies screaming for food, a toddler throwing temper tantrums, teens rebelling when they are not taught that the world does not revolve around them. We expect when we go to college for a certain degree, that we will get a job when we graduate. We go into marriage with expectations that our needs and desires will be met. Our entire lives we are depending on someone or something to fulfill that deep longing inside of us.
We learn from the beginning of time how to control a situation to try and make things go our way.
This gets me thinking about what expectations we put on the Lord?
Do we desire or expect God to give us a nice home, a running car, new clothes every season, health, wealth, and a regular vacation. What about just a break from the day to day activities, a little R and R?
In America especially, I cannot help but think we expect certain things because if someone else has it then I deserve it too. Unfortunately this is not the real world, and this way of living is a trap.
We really deserve nothing but death, but God gives us grace, amidst living in a world of excess.
Jesus desires our hearts and he wants our love, he tells us he loves us, cares for us, and hears us, but he does not demand us to love him. That wouldn't be love. We have free will to choose who we will serve and whom we love.
Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Is my desire Christ, even if my expectations are not met?
Putting God in a box and telling him how it needs to be is saying, "I do not trust you Lord and I know whats best."
We may say out loud, "Lord, I want your will, and nothing else," but how do I live?
Where is my heart?
Am I bitter and angry with God when I do not get my way, or do I trust?
Did my desire for a better circumstance turn into an expectation?
The Bible tells us in Psalms 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
This does not mean we will get whatever we want, but if we take delight in Jesus, our heart should be that of his.
It all boils down to the heart. Whether its a baby, toddler, teen, or adult give your desires over to Christ and let him convict the heart of unmet expectations. Do nothing out of selfish ambition, and live carefully to not let the expectations from deep within cause outward control and lack of trust, and anger.
Desires and expectations have two different roles, one is to express a wish and have a heart for Christ, the other is a demand that leads to control and lack of trust.
Where is your heart today?
Just my 2 cents.... I love knowing that my God is bigger than all the expectations I put on myself or others. I do not need to find my joy in outward things or other people, but that my true desire should be that of Christ and his will. It lets people off the hook because they do not have to live up to a humans standards, but that of the Lord. There is no room for control when Christ is the center.
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