This morning I woke up early panicking that my husband was still asleep and after realizing there was a two hour delay I tried to snuggle back under the covers to relax, but it was too late. Once I'm woke up so abruptly there is no going back to sleep. I knew the kids would sleep in because they were up late with Revive Indiana, which is beyond words, simply amazing, so I started to pray.
As I was praying for my children's hearts and some lack of fruit we have been seeing I was paralyzed with fear. What if I ruined them! I would say, "Lord remember that time when Tough Guy was 2 and I lost my temper, or remember when he was 4 and I said this!" " Oh Lord, I have failed." He is acting this way because of what I did all those years ago. Instantly God brought me back to reality and said, "Jen you haven't been perfect, you are right about that, but I have control of their hearts and minds, not you, I am making them into the people I want them to be. I am the potter!"
When I look at my childhood, my parents were not perfect, and God has used that to make me who I am today. So why do I think I need to be perfect? Why am I letting Satan hold this over my head and tell me that I am not good enough? Folks, we are not good enough. If anything I have taken from Revive, it is that there is nothing we can do to be good enough. We are all sinners, yet Christ died for us!" God is molding and growing my children into his image, not my image. He doesn't need me to perfect his work. Yes, Christ has given me these children to love, train, guide, and pray over, but God does not need me. He loves me, but he can do his work without me.
So knowing that fear is not from the Holy One I rebuked Satan and said, "God please forgive me for living in fear. These children belong to you and I know you have their best interest at heart. I know that you love them even more than I do. You chose me, even with my imperfections, to parent them, and you know what you are doing. So thank you, imperfections and all, thank you for knowing more than me. "
I can sit here crying over mistakes I have made and things I have said that the children heard, that maybe they shouldn't have, or I can give this to the Lord knowing he is bigger than me and trust him with these children of mine. When I do not see Godly fruit in their spirit I need to be on my knees because God can change that. I refuse to live in fear of the past, present, or future. God has it all covered. I may not be a perfect parent, but Christ is, and he knows what he is doing so I need to let him do it.
I love Psalm 121 which says, "I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip he who watches over you will not slumber, indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you, the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
Thank you Lord that you are in charge and not me! Thank you that as your child I do not have to live in fear. You've got this!
As I was praying for my children's hearts and some lack of fruit we have been seeing I was paralyzed with fear. What if I ruined them! I would say, "Lord remember that time when Tough Guy was 2 and I lost my temper, or remember when he was 4 and I said this!" " Oh Lord, I have failed." He is acting this way because of what I did all those years ago. Instantly God brought me back to reality and said, "Jen you haven't been perfect, you are right about that, but I have control of their hearts and minds, not you, I am making them into the people I want them to be. I am the potter!"
When I look at my childhood, my parents were not perfect, and God has used that to make me who I am today. So why do I think I need to be perfect? Why am I letting Satan hold this over my head and tell me that I am not good enough? Folks, we are not good enough. If anything I have taken from Revive, it is that there is nothing we can do to be good enough. We are all sinners, yet Christ died for us!" God is molding and growing my children into his image, not my image. He doesn't need me to perfect his work. Yes, Christ has given me these children to love, train, guide, and pray over, but God does not need me. He loves me, but he can do his work without me.
So knowing that fear is not from the Holy One I rebuked Satan and said, "God please forgive me for living in fear. These children belong to you and I know you have their best interest at heart. I know that you love them even more than I do. You chose me, even with my imperfections, to parent them, and you know what you are doing. So thank you, imperfections and all, thank you for knowing more than me. "
I can sit here crying over mistakes I have made and things I have said that the children heard, that maybe they shouldn't have, or I can give this to the Lord knowing he is bigger than me and trust him with these children of mine. When I do not see Godly fruit in their spirit I need to be on my knees because God can change that. I refuse to live in fear of the past, present, or future. God has it all covered. I may not be a perfect parent, but Christ is, and he knows what he is doing so I need to let him do it.
I love Psalm 121 which says, "I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip he who watches over you will not slumber, indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you, the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
Thank you Lord that you are in charge and not me! Thank you that as your child I do not have to live in fear. You've got this!
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